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Series Name
Season 1, Episode 1 (2/2
Air date January 23, 2004
Written by David Warick
Amy DeBatrolemis
Directed by Howy Parkins
Episode Guide
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 Shrink Rap is the second half of the first episode of Dave the Barbarian.

Synopsis[]

Dave believes helping others is his whole purpose in life and starts giving out advice as a "psychofloobicologist", later giving advice to Quosmir.

Quotes[]

[In the Great Indoor Marketplace Dave approaches a clerk at "Ye Sick People Shop" for advice.]
Sales Clerk: Eh, I just do holes and leeches. If you want advice, I guess you could read one of those self-help scrolls... but they're all written by crackpots and weirdos.
Dave: Crackpots and weirdos!? Count me in!

Dave: At last! I know my purpose in life: to help people! And to do that, I must become... A psychofloobicologist!

Quozmir: Who dares wake Quozmir, Udrogothian god of overused punctuation!? Whoever it is, he shall pay... um, or she.

[Psychofloobicologist Dave has just asked Quozmir why he must destroy the earth.]
Quozmir: Why? You know, I never really thought about it before. Why must I destroy? Why do I feel such rage? Why do I persist in doing this atrocious combover, when I'm obviously balding. I mean, seriously, who am I fooling?

[Quozmir has just purchased two wheels of cheese at the Great Indoor Marketplace, in part of his flaming-loogie-spitting rampage]
Oswidge: Not the Cheese!
Candy: What's the big deal?
Oswidge: Cheese produces phlegm.
Candy: And?
Oswidge: And if the cheese creates more phlegm, that means bigger flaming loogies!
Candy: And?
Oswidge: Look, I'm going to put this in terms you can understand: he could destroy all the shopping!
Candy[gasps] Not on my watch!

Candy: Why are you stoping me, that' guy's a menace to shopping! Besides, if he ate all that cheese, it'd go straight to his hips.

Dave: We will use the mightiest weapon in the psychofloobicologist's arsenal: Happycrafts!

[Candy attempts to calm Quozmir's rage by reuniting him with his mom]
Quozmir's mom: Huh, he never calls, he never writes, I ask you: is this the way for a son to act?

Quozmir's mom: Herbert, what do you say we destroy the northern half of the continent, huh?
Fang: I love a happy ending!
Candy: Happy ending? They're gonna destroy half a continent!
Fang: Yeah, but not the half we live in.
Candy: Good point.

Episode[]

Dave_the_Barbarian_1x01_Shrink_Rap

Dave the Barbarian 1x01 Shrink Rap

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