|Season 1, Episode 7 (2/2)|
|Air date||February 6, 2004|
|Written by|| John Behnke|
|Directed by||Howy Parkins|
The Way of the Dave
Candy demands Oswidge come up with a magic spell to remove a pimple from her face on the night of the Barbarian Ball, but the zit turns into a zit monster and he's bent on taking her back. However, as it turns-out the monster only wants to be her date to the dance and then the two perform a song that strongly parodies the song Beauty and The Beast. Candy and the Zit's song is called Candy And The Zit.
- The title of this episode is a parody/play on of Beauty and the Beast.
- [Candy asks for fashion advice from Fang.]
- Fang: I don't give a rabid weasel's snout what you wear to some stupid dance.
- Candy: You don't understand! One fashion mistake, and the other girls will rip me to shreds!
- Fang: Cool!
- Candy: No, I mean, really, rip me to shreds.
- Fang: Cooooool!
- Oswidge: I just heard I'm going to emcee the ball! And the emcee always eats first! [Licks lips.] They're gonna have those nutlogs I like!
- Dave: I just heard I'll be working the hat check room at the ball. So many hats... It's like a... A beautiful dream.
- [Candy screams at the sight of her zit.]
- Dave: What is it!? A monstrous ogre!? An ogreous monster!? Tell me quick so I'll know the best way to run away!
- Oswidge: A little magic, I'll have that hideous thing off your face faster than you can say, "get this hideous thing off my face."
- Candy: Get this hideous thing-
- Oswidge: Gitripozene!
- [Uncle Oswidge turns Candy into a stack of magazines.]
- Dave: Hey, look! It's the Pillaging Illustrated swimsuit issue!
- Candy: Move your hand one inch closer, and you'll be pulling back a stump.
- Candy: Uncle Oswidge, I could kiss you! If you weren't so short, and old, and ugly, and smelly.
- Oswidge: I'm not that short.
- Candy: Um... You wanna dance?
- Pank: Sure. Wait... you mean with... you?
- [The Zit kidnaps Candy.]
- Candy: Hank! Do something!
- Pank: [Looking at his pants.] Uh... I think I just did.
- Dave: Okay, I'll do it. But only if I don't have to fight the monster.
- Fang: Of course you have to fight the monster! What're you gonna do, bake him a pie!?
- Dave: But everybody loves pie!
- Ted: You know what I hate most about eating people?
- Stu: When their shoes get caught in your teeth?
- Ted: Bingo!
- Zit: I am Sebacious D. Wisehop. But you may can call me, "Zit."
- Candy: I'm Princess Candy.
- Zit: I know, I used to be on your forehead.
- Candy: Why did you grab me?
- Zit: Because I'm a monster! An evil, bloodthirsty, uncivilized monster! Who's totally in love with you!
- [Candy tells Dave that zit cream never works.]
- Dave: Oh no? Well, this is New-and-Improved Zit-B-Gon!
- Zit: [Gasps.] Not New-and-Improved Zit-B-Gon! With the miracle ingredient XV-17, zits don't stand a chance against Zit-B-Gon! Now available in regular or grape!
- Oswidge: Don't cry, Candy. You're still young. As a teenager, you'll have a lot more chances to fall in love! And if not, at least you'll have a lot more zits!